Falling Out of Love
by Silvermoon Dragonfairy
Summary: Using Michelle Branch's "Goodbye to You", about trying not to love someone. Not really a musical or a play, but since they got rid of the Song Fic section, this is the next best place for it.


The song is "Goodbye To You", and was sung by Michelle Branch, just in case. I do NOT own this song, neither the melody nor the lyrics.  
  
This story is partially based on the song, and partially based on real life; I've just changed the names and ages. I hope you enjoy it. Please R&R!  
  
~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~  
  
/Of all the things I've believed in  
  
I just want to get it over with/  
  
Why did I have to fall in love with someone like Eric Smith? For one thing, he was a great deal older than me; 6 years older to be exact, making him twenty-four, while I was still barely eighteen. Not that it mattered; he didn't really act his age. Eric teased everyone, though it seemed he tormented me more than most (though I could hardly say I didn't enjoy it, any attention from him was welcome attention), or showing off what he had learned in his martial arts class.  
  
But that wasn't the point. The point was I needed to fall out of love with him. Not that I wanted to. I enjoyed thinking of what it would be like to be Mrs. Heather Smith. There was just one problem.  
  
/Tears form behind my eyes  
  
but I do not cry  
  
Counting the days that pass me by/  
  
He was in love with Stephanie Gold, whether he wanted to admit it or not. It broke my heart knowing this. At the same time, I figured it would be better to force myself to quit admiring him while he was in denial than to suffer more pain by still loving him when he finally confessed to his feelings and started dating Stephanie. It was just hard to undo a yearlong crush.  
  
/I've been searching deep down in my soul  
  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
  
It feels like I'm starting all over again  
  
the last three years were just pretend/  
  
I hard tried to convince myself of many things in the past three years. First I attempted to convince myself that I could not fall in love what so ever, that such an emotion was impossible for me. Then I lied to myself, saying that I could love, just not him. The final falsehood was that eventually I would tell him that I loved him, and he would love me back.  
  
Yeah right. Like that would happen. I had to face the truth that he couldn't love me, and that I had been pretending all this time. Well, I would live, no big deal. It was just that my heart was being ripped in two, which was nothing major.  
  
/And I said,   
  
Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to/  
  
'So be it.' I thought to myself. 'He will love Stephanie, Stephanie will love him, and I will move on with life. That's all there is to it.'  
  
~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~~^*^~  
  
/I still get lost in your eyes  
  
And it seems that I can't live a day without you  
  
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away  
  
To a place where I am blinded by the light  
  
But it's not right/  
  
Months had passed, and though Eric had finally admitted that he cherished Stephanie and they had begun dating, I was still in love with him. His light gray-blue eyes were just as beautiful as they had ever been, and I fought hard to not fall into them. I wished for the days when he was still in denial, and I could think about him a little more freely.  
  
I closed my eyes and tried to shake that bitterness out of my mind. Eric and Stephanie made such a perfect match, I should have been happy for them. Still, the very thought of Eric made me hesitate and linger on what it would be like if he were mine instead of hers. Shivering, I reminded myself of one simple thing.  
  
/Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
you were the one I loved  
  
the one thing that I tried to hold on to/  
  
I wasn't going to focus on him anymore. He was Stephanie's boyfriend, not mine. Of course, I was the only one who knew I was fighting an uphill battle, and thus I fought it alone. Sometimes, I wished that I could just tell Eric what was going on in my heart, and then he'd ask me what I wanted from him, and I imagined my reply.  
  
/And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time  
  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine  
  
I want you  
  
But I'm not giving in this time /  
  
To which he would be so stunned at my forthright reply, that he wouldn't say a thing. I would turn and leave him there, and go on with life with a lighter burden. Strangely enough, this thought made my suffering a little easier.  
  
/Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
you were the one I loved  
  
the one thing that I tried to hold on to/  
  
"The one thing that I tried to hold on to..." I murmured under my breath. Realizing that it had come out loud, I looked around to make sure I was alone.  
  
I was, which was good. I turned up my radio, so that the last lines of the song were a bit louder in my ears, as I lay on the empty hill and stared up into the night sky.   
  
/And when the stars fall  
  
I will lie awake  
  
You're my shooting star/  
  
~THE END~ 


End file.
